5cfba6f0 No.3709320
I think i'm literally dying from loneliness.
That is the conclusion that i have to make. I'm about to turn 40 and if something isn't suddenly going to change my life, it's not going to get any better. I've had chronic fatigue syndrome and depression for about 20 years, but it's really gotten bad in the last few years, and while even those things were usually intermittent, now they seem not to be.
My skin is crumbling, i have an increasing amount of food intolerances which leave me with almost nothing left that i'm able to eat, which also has a direct effect of my physical and mental state, and i've lost most of the strength and much flexibility of my hands, leaving me unable to play any musical instruments or do anything that requires fine motorics or stamina.
I'm increasingly convinced that my life circumstances are the reason for much of my health problems, and if something miraculous doesn't happen to my life real soon, i might eventually die from sheer misery, or end up with some ailment that cripples me for the rest of my life.
I know that every time there is something that looks promising, not even necessarily for me, but the way the world is going, it actually makes me physically better, to the point that many of my ailments are almost gone temporarily, then as it turns out to be nothing, it's back again.
There's really no clear ideas that are relevant to me. I have been trying everything there is, over and over and it's never led to anything. I have still never met one single furry in real life, nor do i even know of many in my country - they all seem to be rich hipster fursuiters with no concern for the overall community, and absolutely nothing in common with me. And i don't really have many close friends online in the rest of the world either, anymore, much because of the ways Internet culture and furry culture has changed from the days of forums, personal websites, IRC and desktop messengers.
With my other interests, it's equally hopeless - there simply isn't anybody here who cares about the things that i do, nor are there enough people online for it to be of any use. I don't think i can really relate to people who aren't furries, they have no idea about the issues, so what is there to do?
5cfba6f0 No.3709322
Since i made the original post, it's actually gotten worse. The government appointed "person of contact" i've been seeing once a week for the last six years was laid off two months ago, and i haven't gotten a replacement yet. I don't know if this is anything that even exists in English speaking countries, so it might be hard to explain, but he's basically the only one i had to talk to and now i haven't had one meaningful conversation with anybody for two months, it's just maddening.
Even if i get a new one, i would have to start over from the beginnning, because it took so long, several years, just to get him to understand my situation and toward achieving anything. We were talking about helping me move to some other city where i would have slightly more chances of doing anything i'm interested in, but he just wasn't doing enough, and nothing became of it.
My health is basically stable now, but i'm very weak and very tired. Sleeping very poorly, and barely awake when i'm not. It's only about once every two weeks i can find the piece of mind to write something like this.
5cfba6f0 No.3709323
One thing that complicates the matter, and might actually be part of the reason for my health and mental problems, is that i'm descended from Sámi people, an indigenous minority originating from Central Asia and who used to speak a completely non-Indo-European language, who are now very assimilated and mostly live in the northern parts of the country, and i've only in recent years started thinking about how this affects me, much because of similar stories from other descendants of Sámi people that i read online.
Most Swedes don't even seem to know or care that the Sámi exist, they're not really a presence in media or in the public discourse, except the very occasional conflict over mining or reindeer herding territories which is treated as a local issue rather than anything relevant to Sweden as a whole, and because of this it's been very hard for me, most of my life, to get any grasp on what Sámi people are, since there's just no information and nobody to talk to about it.
As far as i know, there's nobody in this part of the country that identifies as Sámi, in school i was always told it wasn't relevant to us since "we are normal Swedes, we shouldn't care and there aren't any Sámi here anyway". It's been very hard to find any Sámi people online. In the last few years, there's been a slight upswing in online presence, but it's mostly Facebook groups posting about local things like yard markets, and no more serious discussion, and nobody really intrested in getting to know anybody from elsewhere. In fact i've had more success talking to Sámi descendants in the US than anyone in Sweden or Norway.
Curiously, there seems to be a disproportionate amount of Sámi people who are furries, but they're not really active online, i just found a bunch of dead profiles on Facebook and Deviantart, but it's EXTREMELY uncommon in Sweden for anyone to even know what furries are otherwise, so i'm thinking it's a weird genetic trait, which is actually discussed a lot in Sámi circles, though not specifically about furries, they seem to inherit a lot of weird instinctual behaviour, even outright memories, that often skips several generations then just pop up.
Anyway, the chance is very little anyone here cares or understands what i'm talking about, i'm just glad to finally get this written down and posted like i've been intending too, we'll see what happens next in my life.
65d7c89c No.3709327
Some people are really into having AI girlfriends these days. They get an AI, then buy a doll like from the dollhouse with realistic weight and feel. Then stick a spinning robot pussy into it.
And a guy that reviews sex toys swears its better than having real sex. The realistic feeling doll body + spinning robot pussy he says tricks your brain into thinking your having sex with a real person. And the spinning robot pussy can put friction on your dick that any woman could only dream of doing. He said the first time he tried it, he came so hard he pulled an ab muscle.
If theres no one to talk too, AI can help with loneliness. As they'll talk back to you. And some people love tinkering with the AI to make the perfect partner that does and says everything they want/like and nothing that they don't
This is the guy
https://www.bitchute.com/channel/turdflingingmonkeyAnd he even does an instagram for his doll
https://www.instagram.com/celestina_monkey/?hl=en 96405afa No.3709330
Do psychedelics
a03ca7d8 No.3709337
Go Munchausen somewhere else.
300c2c3f No.3709338
>>3709320Furries are fucking retarded dude why do you wanna talk to them they will only make things even worse for you. Get out of the house and go sit in a coffee shop reading a book or go for a walk when the weather isn't total shit.
44ebe107 No.3709339
>>3709330The thing with psychedelics is you need to wait until you feel 100% ready. Probably also not the best idea for a first timer to be alone on their first trip.
d92739bd No.3709344
>>3709339Could just microdose, not like he needs to do a heroic dose right out of the gate.
ab24ef7a No.3709349
>>3709323why would furs have anything to do with a subgroup of other people except to laugh about dog dicks and shit.
a03ca7d8 No.3709354
In all seriousness though. The problem seems to be your expectations and ideals about the world not being met, and you feeling entitled to "get something" out of it all.
This is the basic point of Dukkha in Buddhist philosophy: you are unhappy because you crave for something you can't have. It arises out of coming in contact with the world and deriving impossible demands that cannot be met within your life circumstances in particular. The answer to Dukkha is surrendering to the circumstances and playing along to your life, not going against its stream but following along and seeing where the stream carries you.
Dukkha is the ill-fitting axle of a wheel that makes the cart get stuck because it refuses to turn along, wanting to be in one place instead of the other. Get rid of the axle and the wheel, and you're free of your discomfort. This is easily accomplished if you really want to.
a03ca7d8 No.3709358
>>3709354To start with, recall the basic story of Gautama Buddha: he was a prince born to a powerful king in the ancient times. The king was told by priests that his son would become a wandering monk and a destitute, so he imprisoned the prince in the castle with all the worldly pleasures so he would not be tempted to ever go out.
Yet the prince did, and as he escaped he saw three things: a leper, a corpse died of disease, and an ascetic monk. He saw that disease and ailment can affect anyone, that death comes to everyone, and with the monk he saw what seemed like a remedy: to give up all hope and all desire.
Gautama spent the next few years practicing ascetism and starving himself, eating only a grain of rice a day until he was so thin you could see his ribs. He was meditating beneath a tree when Mara, the demon of hell came to him and saw that he was trying to get out of living by withering away. Mara presented him with all sorts of pleasures: women, food, beautiful men.. nothing would work. Mara got angry and sent a hail of arrows towards Gautama to kill him, but Gautama did not phase: he simply said "I know who you are", and instantly the arrows turned into petals of flowers. This is because he saw through what Mara really was: his own desire about the world.
With that the prince realized the point: it is not giving up about the world that liberates you. At that point, a little girl found Gautama sitting under the tree, looking like a skeleton, so she brought him soup, and he ate and got stronger, left the tree and returned back to life. At first he didn't talk about his discovery for five or seven years, but the people who saw him pressed on and asked about it. He could not say anything except this: denying life is not liberation, demanding life is not liberation. Living it is.
a03ca7d8 No.3709364
>>3709358This is why Gautama Buddha could not say anything for five or seven years:
“The Buddha said that if you get caught in one idea and consider it to be “the truth”, then you miss the chance to know the truth. Even if the truth comes in person and knocks at your door, you will refuse to open your mind. So, if you are committed to an idea about truth or to an idea about the conditions necessary for your happiness, be careful.”
Because what he discovered cannot actually be expressed in simple terms like I said before like, "Living it is." When Buddha's first successor, Mahākāśyapa got the truth transmitted to him, there was a great congress of monks waiting for the Buddha to speak. When he got up to the pedestal, he held up a flower. Mahākāśyapa alone smiled, and the Buddha recognized him as his successor for it. It was later commented that Buddha did not understand it, and Mahākāśyapa did not conceal it. Not understanding it was as close as you can get to describing what was meant by Buddha with the flower, and Mahākāśyapa got it.
ab24ef7a No.3709374
>>3709364he do not see the truth so he is very true haha what a funny guy.
282c3d01 No.3709385
OP, if you're serious or a real poster, both of which I doubt, then why are you asking on a commie/jew board that bans or censors good and honest content that'll help in "real life" but allows trash? Have you seen how fat and horribly unhealthy cho0b/pedomod look? They are destroying themselves and can't seem to stop or apparently even want to at this point, so why allow those who aren't destroying themselves to have a voice/influence on ones' own platform?
Work that shit out first. You sound like you don't want to succeed, so you're asking for important real-life advice on the worst possible place.
If you've been injected with the bioweapon, then you've just added a whole bunch of extra problems to your life, that you'll need to work on for as long as you live, in order to try and "detox" from it - it's a lifelong thing, now that your DNA's been altered to produce toxic spike proteins, and you have graphene (di)oxide in your blood/cells. It's a remote-activated depop weapon with an immune-system destroying fail-safe.
If you're pureblood, you'll need to work on finding natural ways to boost your testosterone first, and at the same time, implement measures to detox from the spike proteins that people who have gotten the deathshot are now expelling, because the spike proteins actually seem to affect testosterone/fertility levels, even when expelled by another living being and "breathed in" - sort of like "second-hand" smoking.
Testosterone is the key to a man's happiness - almost everything good stems from it. That's why the satan-of-synagogue/commies/"jews"/khazarians/zionists/etc. hate it so much, and are doing everything in their power to "feminize" actual proper men, including poisoning the food/water supply and even air.
Once your testosterone is near normal levels, you can begin to try and unfuck the rest of you, which is a lot.
If you want it to be even easier, then stop consuming "jewish" shit/poisons, such as media/food/advice/anything.
Then again, you probably want to fail, and lie to yourself about "having tried", so good luck with that fagot.
300c2c3f No.3709416
>>3709385this guy is 100% for real, he's been around for ages and thinks Furrys are the chosen people who would understand him in a way only a furry can.
ab24ef7a No.3709419
>>3709416no he is just a fucking groomer that has gone to astronomical deep-state lengths at convincing people the jews have control as some sort of staging device for his own self importance, and then he fucking even admits he has a superiorty complex
f9cc532d No.3709680
>>3709385Excess testosterone turns people into aggressive, violent, dissatisfied asshats that become impotent early in life and get even more pissed off at everything.
You know what diminishes T levels? Becoming a father, having kids, having a family, having sex regularly and being in a loving relationship. Why? Because the body still thinks it lives in caveman times where if you're not getting laid regularly it's because you've failed at attracting a mate, and the solution is to become violent enough to knock off another male and take his mate. These are deep set endocrine cycles and you conservative retards have turned it into a reatrded redpill/bluepill thing just like the trannies where you think one sex hormone or the other is the solution to the world's/your problems, but the reality is you're just buying pills and fucking your body up and turning yourself into an irritable, histrionic nutcase who's out of their mind because they aren't getting laid and decided not masturbating was the key to success. You don't see the ages old game of manipulating young men/men in general into angry zealots and insane 'warriors' by getting them to repress their sexual drive and channel it into blind rage create from an innate sense that you are an inferior failure and not truly a man like you desperately wish you were.
282c3d01 No.3709690
Screeched like an angry commie who's never had the mental clarity and positive drive that comes from having a healthy body, mind (soul) and strong testosterone levels.
None of the things you've screeched are caused by normal/strong testosterone levels - rather they're caused by satan-of-synagogue/etc. poisons (mental, physical, spiritual) leading to an unhealthy state, which is made worse by low testosterone causing lack of energy and drive to improve ones' situation.
Only when the mind/body/soul are almost completely destroyed does high testosterone (which isn't in such a body anyway) cause excessive frustration, because then the mind has more energy and drive (overall, not just sexual) but no tangible/perceived mental/physical/spiritual way of improving its situation.
The "men" in such a condition become vile passive-aggressive power-hungry commie/SJW bitches. Sound familiar?
You're a good example of such a state.
>>3709416Well, he's certainly in major trouble then.
3494e281 No.3709961
>>3709320Read the folowing:
>Marcus Aurelius Meditations /it wrote Roman Emperor himself/>Simo Häyhä - The World's Best Sniper - White Death writen be Petri Sarjanen /The life story of the legendary Finnish sniper Sim Häyhä/>The Bible /writen be the best spiritual phylosofers known to us. It contains forgoten kodex of morals that can help you/.Start play mutiplayer games like (warthunder, BattleBitt Remastered, Counterstike, many variations exists.) join some clan and play with others through Discord in order to socialize.
Or start play some board games, go out more often, pray to God, know your ancestors more closely. Are many variationt out there just pick one and try.
I can't recommend anything further, Lol.
GL.
6c3544ce No.3710925
Why was i just banned from the Discord again? And why are Shurn and the others allowed to post their racist shit forever?
e793d1a0 No.3710933
Discord is for trannies
44ebe107 No.3710960
>>3710925FYI Shurn got kicked a while back. Basically you were an autistic asshole that didn't want to socialize, just take potshots at other users at random. You are the most unlikeable faggot in this entire community besides 3B, and you come whine here because you have zero social awareness whatsoever. Good luck with your life. Fuck you.
f1ae9aed No.3710987
>>3710960Who are you? I bet you don't even go there yourself.
Anyway, you can all join my Discord server instead:
https://discord.gg/fT5jHZcCRp e80f0861 No.3720914
OP here. I often think about people i used to know online, especially when i don't have anyone currently to talk to, which is most of the time nowadays. I try not to make that much of it, and even deliberately swear not to look up what people i used to know IRL do nowadays - if they're not in touch with me, they're gone as far as i'm concerned - but it's a different thing with people online who just disappeared.
There was one particular furry i remember from the mid-00s, he was just the perfect example of the kind i'd need in my life nowadays. Not only was he one of the few i knew with some very specific preferences that few others are okay with, he was so much fun to talk to, and it bugged me that he just disappeared one day, and i though i never heard of him again. A while ago i had searched for his old names and found nothing, even asked someone on Furaffinity who had mentioned him and who didn't know anything either.
Then it occured to me that shortly before he disappeared, he changed to another name, and searching for that one i found another name that i had forgot, but remembered when i saw it, and he was actually still active and posting on Twitter under that name.
Then i remembered the whole story.
He never actually disappeared. He just changed name, interests and personality completely, and i stopped talking to him because we had nothing in common anymore. It's like, over less than a month he just abandoned his old persona and became a boring, bitter Furaffinity-blogging, occasionally convention-going mainstream furry with the most annoying and mundane kinks, that he was still posting about now, 15 years later.
And when i saw that, i remembered it. It's just that i had forgotten THAT part, and only remember him as he was when he was a part of "my community" and actually fun to talk to.
Then it stroke me how many others in my past who did the same thing. There were some who legit just disappeared, including one who seemed to wipe almost any trace online of him ever existing despite running several forums and being one of the most visible people in Y2K Sonic fandom, there's barely a single mention of him anywhere left on the web. But there were many more who i just stopped talking to because on a whim, they completely changed and i had nothing in common with them anymore.
e80f0861 No.3720916
And then there's the real question that's remaining - if this is somehow natural to furry and fandom communities, why does it happen with them but not with me? Why am i the one left whining 25 years later that the communities i grew up with don't exist anymore, and that things aren't like they used to be? Why do they somehow move on, and not me?
I've long felt that there's something about me that's very rare, that i just lack the personal traits that turn someone into "an adult" in the eyes of today's society. I just never bought into it, and it keeps me from understanding the priorities and concerns of everyone else, especially as they grow older.
I think i can only ever get along with teens, even if they keep breaking my heart. Not that i do get along, but at least i feel that i get something out of it, unlike talking to today's fake "adults", who are now mostly younger than me, and it just makes me feel like i'm looking into a doll's house through a glass wall. I got no place in today's furry community, i miss when it was grassroots-run, a genuinely international and online community, and i hate what Furaffinity and the fucking conventions did to it.
I guess i'm just someone who'll never grow old, and it's not fun at all, if it sounds like it might be.
c330a652 No.3720938
tl::dr
9b6c39b3 No.3741883
Figured it's about time i make an update. Not much to say, except things are going on pretty much the same way. I've been trying to find ways to contact people in other cities and make them aware of my situation, but it's just not working out so far.
Please do check out my Discord server:
https://discord.gg/fT5jHZcCRp 29c790b3 No.3741888
>>3709331BRO they trained some random guy to take a bunch of drugs while holding a hammer and saying "I'M DA BOSS!"
He ran at a cop…
Poor sap wasn't the boss.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sIl_0AyXuQI AM.
9282afe7 No.3743780
>>3741883Bro. Go to Church. God made it for you to help you with this kind of shit.
You're really not as special as you think. The same shit that's worked for humans for thousands of years will work for you too.
d9cfa399 No.3759739
>>3743771Everyone is on fentanyl and not a drop of Narcan.
