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File: 1678224193114.png (766.64 KB, 963x2162, Screenshot 2023-03-07 at 1….png)

07e29095 No.3694018


Egg Farmer Transported to Hospital With A Live Adult Chichen Stuck in His Rectal Cavity

A farm owner was transported to the hospital in a critical condition late last night with an extremely agitated hen more than half-buried in his rectum.

Around 11:30 last night, paramedics were called to answer a medical emergency concerning a serious accident involving a farm animal, something rather frequent in this rural area.

Upon arriving on the site, they found 57-year old Christopher Adams inebriated, bloodied and naked on a henhouse floor with a loudly clucking 5-pound chicken sticking out of his rectum.

The paramedics briefly tried to remove the agitated bird from its uncomfortable position but to no avail and decided to transport Mr. Adams and the bird to the MHP Major hospital.

According to Dr. Aurelius Thomas who extracted the bird after an extremely delicate 7-hour surgical intervention, both the man and the animal would have died if they had waited longer.

“The bird was dying of suffocation when it got here. It had already badly lacerated the patient’s bowels in a desperate attempt to get out and was still gashing at it like crazy.”

The hen was finally extracted around 7:30 this morning, suffering only minor physical injuries from its ordeal, while Mr. Adams necessitated 7 blood transfusions and more than 780 stitches.

Dr. Thomas says it’s a miracle that both the farmer and his animal are still alive, and questioned what caused the bird to get stuck in there.

“I don’t really know how the bird got there, both getting it out was so complicated and damaging that I can’t imagine that getting it in could have been any fun either.”

Mr. Adams hasn’t regained consciousness yet to explain his version, but the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Department and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) have both launched investigations on the incident.

The ASPCA has taken the hen in custody for the duration of its investigation and will treat it for any possible symptom of a post traumatic syndrome.

93a82c05 No.3694023

Don't eat raw eggs

0694a1ea No.3694043

File: 1678233003715.jpg (264.2 KB, 1280x788, Birds_Rooster_525125_1280x….jpg)


Moral of the story


3933c206 No.3694061

The poor ass-bloodied farmer may have refused to sell his farm recently, and was "warned" by the local brute squad, in the style of the chicken scene in "Me, Myself & Irene." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me,_Myself_%26_Irene
Of course nobody will believe him, or care much when the same corporate brute squad suicides the guy if he refuses to sell his land a second time.
It's also possible he was not following some new shitty illegal extrajudicial Holodomor "terror-famine" edict or fatwa.

056639a1 No.3694105


Fake story from a humor site.

061478c1 No.3694107

File: 1678255184430.jpg (120.54 KB, 708x1000, 353435534.jpg)

Well some years I'd buy the old farmer's almanac book. And one year it had the story of a rooster or hen that they went and chopped its head off. Then they left the body to run around until it died.

Only it didn't die because it had enough brain stem left to live. So they kept it alive and fed it via a tube or eye dropper or whatever down its throat.

And they'd travel around with the headless bird for a long while as an attraction or part of one. Until one day it choked to death on its on spit, or dust or something when no one was around.

Idk if this was the same bird but its compariable


061478c1 No.3694111

File: 1678256668385.jpg (105.03 KB, 800x606, 776745543.jpg)

Another story I know of is the man who's gut bacteria produced enough alcohol to keep him legally drunk all the time.

And another is women who give birth to her clone. That is to say her child has her same exact dna,

I've seen tons and tons of stories of people with rare genetic disorders. Like one disorder makes whenever you get hurt the area turns to bone an eventually they die from the condition.

The rare condition when people cannot feel pain, hot or cold, because their nerves down work right. Like they can burn themselves on hot soup and not know it, Or step on a nail and not know it.

People with hyper aging where they can look like old people while still being tiny.

The story of a guy that has to walk around on all fours.

People that are allergic to water and get hurt taking showers.

Those my strange addiction show people. Like the woman that pretends to be furniture. And the girl that eats matresses

The heart attack grill is pretty wild if you ever see a video on it. The first time I saw nick avocado he's in a video there and he's thin.


12c1315a No.3694113

File: 1678261033042.jpeg (3.42 MB, 3659x4435, WWN-062705-cover.jpeg)

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