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807217 No.3494294

Let's face it, it's probably more action than you'll be able to ever give her. ;D

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Check myself into a hospital, since I don't recall ever having a wife or know who the cashman is.

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Whoever this is, this is becoming Brave levels of spam bullshit. Also I strongly suspect they are in Ontario, since they hound Cobalt, posted about Tim Hortons, and linked this image >>3494298. So, I claim they live in or around the GTA. Is this Hirtes dud Canadian? Wouldn't he be like 50? Pathetic if true.



Someone who has the luxury of working from home, not in some cheap shitty shared commune like most of you Furfags live in. ;)



>Working from home
>Code for I sit on the pogey

Uh-huh. And you divvy your work time with spare visits to furi to spam your shit no one cares bout? Why not take a hint your content is not wanted here from all the times mods sink your clickbait threads? ;) XD :P flips finger



Everything you need to know about Hirtes. He is very lonely, bitter, and bored. His veneer of smugness is stretched thin, these days. Use him as an object lesson, lulz: he is what happens twenty years down the line after you've run away from every opportunity to repair your life or be a decent human being.

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Mock if you like but at least I get to holiday wherever I want, whenever I want and oh it's definitely not lonely here in Aruba. ;)


I kept hearing that name over and over during my time here, over the last few years, but I thought he had long vanished. Are you saying I am posting in a legit Hirtes thread? So the dude has been posting all this clickbait all this time? Because if so, then I realize the dude never went away. He was also the only person pumping content into the last con thread, to the point of it being a sorry scene of "Hey guys I got 156 Twitter caps to dump of con happenings" but hardly anyone cared so he was dumping in a thread all by his lonely self.

If he's been around since the 90s, yikes, its very sad to see a man as old as 3B or older acting like this here. He mindless spams shit like 19 year old girl.



The worst part is the inferiority complex, and the way it manifests. If "get a load of this idiot that no one else has cared about in years" fails, he falls back on "Here's a generic taunt! Am I getting to you? Am I getting to you? YEP, I GOT TO YOU! HAHA! ;DDDD" But then people here inexplicably respond, bumping his threads and giving him the next tiny microsecond of validation that his addict brain craves. People should not actually take his bait, but they do. Either the mods aren't catching all of his threads, or they've stopped caring. The latter seems likely, given how this place is on life support.



>"But then people here inexplicably respond, bumping his threads and giving him the next tiny microsecond of validation that his addict brain craves. People should not actually take his bait, but they do. "

You could say that about all of lulz's serial shitposters.



I still wonder why he tries to bragg.. Doesnt he live in a shitty disrepaired mobile home house and living in disability?


As bad as he is, Zaush, Kayla-Na and Dragoneer are worse human beings, and he's not Trump.

Wouldn't be surprised if he supports Trump though, shitheads usually do.


Hey, you.
I know what you are doing. Stop baiting every thread you post in (that isn't pol) with your /pol/ bait.

Fuckin christ, just close this board already. Its not even a furry porn board anymore, its just a glacier moving version of /b/, /pol/, and /r9k/.

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Hey mods, instead of boat anchoring all this guys slow-spam (its basically what it is, pulling a Brave), why not out right REMOVE all this bullshit so it doesn't just sit here and rot on the board? Problem with anchoring is that this trash just sits there...what does trash do after a while? It rots, it stinks. And this nigger forum-slid 20%-25% of this board just from all his clickbaity nonsense.

You can start with what is listed here:

And then take the rest of it along with it:








Look at how much wankery has been spewed, you could free up two and a half pages of space! I'd also like to point out that while everyone claims this is Hirtes, the shitposter behind all of this shit drops many blatant hints that they are Canadian, particularly in southern Ontario. Talking about an old 80s cartoon that aired there (pictured), stalking TDotBabs >>3491950, talking about Cobalt several times and bringing up Ontario furries obsessively in the past, mentioning Tim Hortons >>3490137, this thread bringing up Oliver Jewellery which is a Ontario GTA chain of pawn shops, and mentioning Ernie Coombs/Mr. Dress-Up >>3494187. Hirtes is listed as a "Michael Jay "Mike" Hirtes, a 53-year-old man from Council Bluffs, Iowa". Either all of this is not Hirtes, or the dude has serious knowledge of Canadian businesses, media, and entertainers.

Also, when you look at all the garbage they post, their harddrive must be the saddest thing in existence. Just full to the brim of stalking material, where they save things from people's FA, Facebook and capping stuff from Twitter. And custom made image macros, taking a page from the playbook of 43B. He has an avalanche of content but none of it is good content - its just shit he thinks is interesting and that he thinks we all want to hear about, but this isn't 2008 Lulz anymore and alot of people moved on and don't really care. It shows now more than ever that so many people left, ALL you have left here now are /pol/ posters and this asshole spamming their daily dose of absolute trash. Sure, when the board was active it blended in with the furry shit. But now that this is all you have left, it sticks out like a sore thumb. This user also had it >>3494809.

If this really is all Hirtes, how can you be in your early 50s and STILL have this much axe to grind? How do you not tire out after decades of the same old shit(flinging)? Just move on, how do you have the energy between your morning duck feedings and afternoon naps to still shit stir (or at least attempt to try and do so feebly, as many of your threads don't even get replies or go dead after 2-3) on the small amount of posting outlets you still have left? Did this fandom really do you that wrong? I mean, were you always this bitter of a motherfucker? How were you at 35? 25? Did furry fandom fuck your mother and kill your father? Did it molest you from an early age? Artist not draw your fetish? Why do you feel so hard done by after all these decades? I am sure you went into the fandom as an innocent man...unless you were a total turd as a child/teen and never improved. Awful family life? Drunk father, non-caring mother? Social outcast? Can't get your dick up? Scarred from circumcision? Lost virginity at 39 from a one night stand bar-whore or possibly still a virgin? Angry you're only 5'5''? Couldn't hack it in the real work world so you pulled a Cobalt and got a check from the government? C'mon, if this really is the legend Mike Hirtes, let's talk about why you're such a prick. Surely you'll engage, as /furi/ is about the only place that will house you these days, until this place finally croaks.

tl;dr - I'm slightly triggered, and this place sucks.

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Someone must have an image of this old school furry icon on an old dusty CD-R somewhere.

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That address must be years old. Dude will have moved elsewhere by now.

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How does someone with no money and friends move? Maybe call him and ask?

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Isn't he a Jew? Jews always have piles of money stashed away underneath mattresses and hidden inside furniture.

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