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No.3473948

So yeah

been thinking of killing myself for real.

I know i know, confession on lulz. But It's true, I'd have done it already if it wouldn't hurt my remaining family member so much. It's just too much debilitating pain and this inescapable anguish and I don't have much longer I think.

Travel and sports and friends and games and all my attempts have just somehow distanced me more from anything close to joy. I don't have anyone else close, I never managed to put together a family. It's worse that the brightest future I see now is death. I don't even think I'm asking for help with this, more just a statement.

No.3473956
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56413

Do you have a job and/or any sort of income?

You might want to research getting some money so you can distract yourself from how shitty life is. "Getting better" comes in waves. It's an ebb and flow. Right now it's low tide for happiness for you.

Don't make a permanent solution for a temporary problem though. Hang in there. If this degenerate Lulzian can get four girlfriends (at different times) then you can pretty much do anything.

No.3473961

If you're serious, then here's an exercise for you.

Go get a cheap notebook or journal. Write in it all your last words to everyone, even the people who are no longer in your life. Tell all of them, verbosely, why you did this, every twist and turn in your life that led you to this point, all your regrets, all your reasons. Give them your best wishes, tell them what you always wanted to say but never did. Take as long as you need.

When you're done, read it all back to yourself. Then put it somewhere where someone checking your personal items would be likely to find it, and decide what you want to do next.

No.3473975
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2094931

on the off chance that this isn't a plea for attention/troll post; don't do it.

it's cliche to announce to the world that you're gonna kill yourself.
it's cliche to say "don't do it, there's so much to live for."

But human beings are walking cliches. Life gets shitty, we all get despondent; sometimes just thinking and breathing is an insufferable struggle. Nobody can give you the comfort/solace/insight you may need in a little neat and tidy package, but at the very least consider that literally everyone has thought about their own mortality in some form or another. I'm not trying to diminish whatever is eating away at you, but rather help you consider that you're not alone? or something?

Take a deep breath, allow yourself some distance and respite from the arbitrary burdens and obligations you've shouldered, maybe (probably definitely, no really do it) seek a therapist. None of the faceless comments you read here may have any impact, but that's fine... just remember, you're here for you. Other people may be more or less important, in the context of your own life, but you're still here on this planet for you, as much as I am here for me.

Go out for a walk, get stoned/drunk, play a game, pet a cat, shit in the woods, do SOMEthing, preferably nothing destructive. You know, in comparison, my biggest struggle today is the fact that the vibrating butt-plug I bought from a smut shop this afternoon is apparently too big to fit in my ass... it's been long enough since I've gotten a good fuck that I can't fit a simple toy in my butt. I'm disappointed, but i have a bottle of sake, an Xbox, and the day off tomorrow... I can always try again.

Talk to a therapist, readjust your priorities, and take things one day at a time.

No.3473976

>>3473956

I have a job, it pays quite well. At the risk of sounding cliche, money hasn't bought me any peace.

It's more than just happiness. I am effectively in agony. I feel negatively reactive to seemingly everything. It's not stress. It's not anxiety. It's a perpetual, ache and exaughstion​, a sweeping... incorrect feeling. Food makes me feel sick, drugs take me to terrible places, activities are hollow, try as I might. I remember somewhere as a kid that I was a person but I haven't felt that way in decades.

I've been scanned head to toe, sunk thousands into specialist even after insurance. That was a few years ago and the long fruitless process did little but to raise my distrust of doctors. But anger of that is even to much of an emotion to express with any grace, if that makes sense. I feel no grace, and for so long that I just stopped being. What I feel is a continuous allergic reaction to being alive, like I was not meant to be here and that it's proper for me to be gone.

No.3473979
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179316

>>3473976
^exhaustion

Also, money brings no peace.
Our own sense of "happiness," or satisfaction, or purpose, or whatever label you want to ascribe to The Thing That Makes Us Give A Fuck, is all in our own head. You've hit a roadblock... for some people, it's all about perspective, for some, it's a chemical thing.

If you've done A Bunch Of Stuff to try and find some kind of resolution, and have yet to "improve" (in whatever way you consider an improvement), then you haven't found the right answer/solution yet. Suicide works because it absolves you from the responsibility of dealing with things. God damn I'd love an easy way out, but I also still like dumb shit... corndogs, riding a motorcycle, old videogame music, harassing the fuck out of my friends, the vague hope that I may still find and know love... i consider myself reasonably lucky that all of those things manage to hold more priority than my hatred of existence.

Priorities. Priorities priorities priorities.

No.3473982
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61953

They could always use more help in Louisiana and Texas Right now.

No.3474005

ive had the thought of consideration myself but end of the shitty feels i realize id rather go out teaching society a lesson prolly nuclear hellfire, since i cant i just settle for existing.

No.3474008

>>3474005 I would feel really bad if you did that. I'm glad you stuck around.

No.3474026

>>3473982

Get ready to add -at least- Florida to that list

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hurricane-irma-caribbean-islands-track-path-forecasts/

No.3474030
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192663

>>3473982

While you are so butt hurt about your "Southern heritage" being scrubbed away by the effects of the global warming your own people deny, you have failed to notice that California is also on fire. U.S. is getting fucked on both ends.

No.3474033

>>3474030

California on fire is nothing new during this time of year, but holy shit, does that picture make civilization look like one big cigarette with the ashy embers quickly closing in

No.3474034

>>3474033

It's another "Largest fire in history" like every year.

No.3474035
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94775
>money doesn't buy happiness

Yeah but it opens more opportunities to pursue activities people enjoy. The only people I've ever heard say this shit are welfare niggers who wouldn't know what to do even if they did score a lump sum of cash. They would keep doing the same boring shit they've always done and complain how unhappy they are.

No.3474041

>>3474030

And I can only think of ISIS as deserving it more than Kalifornia. Burn you mutherfuckers, don't bother asking us to give a single fuck. Wait, no, you can have one, its one my middle finger.

No.3474042
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123694

>>3474030

>California is on fire
No.3474044

>>3473976
Have you thought about religion ? Seriously, some people think it's crutches and people who believe in god are stupid ; but it does help them being happy.

Reading the gospel does no harm, and if you find that Jesus guy to be likeable (easy), why not ask him to make you believe in him ?

No.3474049

>>3474030 you forget harvey and now Irma is a huge potential threat

No.3474076

>>3474035

this!


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